Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Delilah - beat it


I'm a bit annoyed as my mum has started to notice my arms (with huge bingo wings!) haave lost muscle, too. I'll have to try that healthy life programme at the hospital for sure now. I don't know if they do exercise up there or just show you, or if they give out leaflets on good food. My new thing is to eat crushed ice. But not to stop myself from eating, but it just satisfies me. Unfortunately I hardly ever, almost never, eat food during day. No breakfast or lunch yet when dinner comes I'm not hungry. But sometimes I try to force a bit down so mum will feel better. The good thing is I'm totally off  the 
sugary fizzy drinks!!!!! Freedom!!!!
I'm totally thinking of my sister who lives in another country. She has had a lot to deal with and I 
want her to know she is so loved by everyone. It is all some of my relatives and her who have deep, caring souls, I'm so blessed to know them!
This was going to be a post where positivity reigned. However my cpn (and others) and myself are aware of some total idiot trying their luck to go too far with me. I've not grown to hate this person, but it's going to learn the hard way what big lies do when it backfires. Their life has already become as tragic as the made it for themselves. But in between videos there are some gifts I've collected and putting here for others who like a laugh, and those who need to know they are loved. Because you are.  Don't forget it xxx

I've got an oldie that I said to myself after an escape. 
So you got what you want what a nasty ambition 
Set me up, pull me down, then exploit my condition.
I should have guessed "lady' that if pressed " lady"
You're On nobody's side but your own and you're behaving
Like a mere "woman" it's so clear "woman"
It's when they start realising that their old and getting worried
.They let fly, take it out on the one who supports them - it's you I'm talking about.
Who'd ever think it, such a squalid little ending, watching you decending just as far as you can go
I'm learning things I didn't want to know
Who'd ever guess it, this would be the situation - one more observation -
How'd we ever get this far before you showed me what you really are?
You'll be lost without me to abuse like you're used to.
Be someone else's parasite.
" I'm not the kind to be vindictive, holding some childish grudge.
How could I be? I'm in the spotlight, half of the world my judge.
All I demand is those I work for those I give all my skills all my time and pain - those that i entertain.
Give me the same compassion in return,
But the fools never learn"








The only thing you can think as she talks at you is




Anyway, as I was there, and as I was in the safe place, I felt so many emotions.
Then recently I wached a music video called Delilah. It was automatically me. The demon on her chest, the wanting to call my mother, my wanting prayers, when you have any kind of addiction (except booze and pills even though they are referred to in the actual video))
But inside thank not fit for rats 1st motel. I  was desperate, trying to get rid of the things and away from the people that  hurt us, and your ego, too. You find 
yourself when you leave to go back home. To watch this, please YouTube it to see the real destruction 
and desperation of being in a shit jole. And laerning you on d had her vision to be completely certain 
You're doing the right thing but all you have done is be innocent and God reveals (St Jude) that you
are no as insane or even insane as others want to believe. 








Here's a link to see it, and I'll put a video of the song lyrics here.




Another conversation with no destination 
Another battle never won
And each side is a loser
So who cares who fired the gun
I'm learning as I'm leaving
And even though I'm grieving
I'm trying to find the meaning
Let loss reveal it.
Maybe she has always been. More comfortable in chaos

(Like me)

As I watch yourself caring about a minor triumph, sharing your "win" with esoterics paranoid 
hysterics, who don't pay attention to what goes on around, they leave the ones the way they found 
them,
A normal person must dismiss you with disgust and weep for those who trusted you.







LOL I had to put these in!




I love cats!









To the novelists the writers, the blessed people with "brain wired differently" so we can feel more pain to feel the nest of everything. This song is dedicated to you


















I  needed this a few months ago! 

I wanted this a few months 



I hate people who pretend they are disabl ed. And to prove it they use electronic buggies yet 
Love being treated as a "poor me"

NOTHING




But some women take dominating a bit too far! 



We'll crucify the insincere tonight




Blame it
on the bad actress.


Weepy 
Poor never Beens




Private Eyes.
I'm a spy on the sly, you see.




Your town.













PI don't think I needed YOU. 














aww lol .





Greed
























































  


















My wee  blind boy!!

My beautiful lil daughter wanting a belly rub! 

Mum and I strawberry picking a few years ago! 

The entities face.








Joe is my hero! 


I had to.



By another beautiful mind gone too soon.



Wonderful man 

LOL








To the unknown lol. 


































LOL














This is me, as I always listen to this near and on my birthday! I just don't bother with the makeup lol.
This whole post will not make sense to many people, it's a complicated story about someone (not me!) being deranged. And who won't let me forget that she still thinks she's a victim. I'm so glad people who know me, and my relatives, and people high up believe me. And always have done. Even better, remember kids, lithium helps you and does not make a man violent!!











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