I do go to extremes.
Sometimes thinking I'm better than I am, able to conquer the world, orpther times I feel like scum and don't dare leave the flat, or, as I discussed with my Support Worker last week, I can sit at any coffee shop and put the happy mask on that fools all but a few.
The past few months I have been lower than I have been since around 4 years ago.
The past week it's been a mixture of low and in between moods, where I can feel ok but still not well enough to go out. On Friday I ventured out with my mum. And it was so hard, people don't recognise me with my hair change, or they are embarrassed that they once knew me,
But nevermind them, let's talk a bit about what my Support Worker said I should do. I should kind of go with my feelings of the hour, day, week. One spday t a time a good friend of mine wrote in my wall last night. They're right, I can't judge my moods anymore.
But it's not as if all is lost, I'm on new meds and I have a wonderful friend who has invited me to her family's Christmas Day. Friends who will text me and care enough to write through Facebook, and by the way I consider each and every one who supports my Facebook page as my friends, too.
I'm hoping I will find the courage to go to the Panto next week, to see and support a friend there.
I know for a fact I would love it.
So as I think of another new day, I will take it how it comes, go with the flow, learn, but still keep my dreams surrounding me, so that I don't keep being complacent, but learn to embrace each day.
Right now.......I'm happy!!!