Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Reasons why I am not a good Christian

Here it is. I have to come clean. I am not a good christian. I wish I was!
I am a sinner and a fraud.
Why?
I have no self belief. I have gone from being scared of living to being scared of dying...and a christian should shouldn't be scared of meeting the Lord when the time comes.
I swear. I smoke. I have an addictive personality and I although I no longer abuse painkillers I am still tempted by them. I like horror movies. I find it difficult to read the Bible as I find it so very hard to understand that I always give up. I don't believe gays won't get into Heaven. I hallucinate and am hyper sensitive, feeling too much pain for others and too much pain with every sideways glance people give me. I am too shy to meet others and therefore will never find a husband to love. I have pco so will never conceive anyway. I am a glutton and a sloth. I believe I am going to hell when I die because of these constant sins. Sins that I know are bad yet I do everyday.

4 comments:

  1. OK! Make a cup of coffee because I'm gonna write a lot now!! All of it good, so don't worry!

    Made it? Right! Have a biscuit as well. Now sit down and read.

    1. You are in a good place if you have no self-belief. Because you can put all your belief in someone else who will never let you down because he (unlike me and you and everyone else) is perfect. Jesus!
    2. I think everyone is scared of dying, Christian or not, because of the process. But as you get to know Jesus, it's like putting your hand in his hand and saying 'OK, I am putting all my faith in you that you say that "[she] who believes in me will live even though [she] dies" and that you are preparing a place for me, as you promised in the gospel of John. Will you give me the faith and trust I need, please, Jesus?' He will!
    3. Yes, the Bible can be tricky so try reading some stories about Jesus to start off with. Like the gospel of Mark. Before you start reading just say "Jesus, will you help me meet you as I read?" and read a few verses until something really grips you. Then you will know that is God speaking to you. You might only read a little bit, that's OK. (Also try reading some of the psalms, a lot of which were written by a guy called David who made a real mess of his life here and there. The emotion relates to our real lives today.)
    4. Anyone can go to heaven if they are gay, straight, whatever, all they have to do is believe in Jesus, and ask him to forgive and save them and help them live for him. We can't make ourselves right with God. We are totally helpless in that! That's why we've got to let him do it. And he will!
    5. Swearing, smoking, addictions and all the other negative stuff we all get into - Jesus can handle that. It's YOU he loves.
    6. You are a lovely, sensitive, caring person, and that's not bad! It just makes you more easily hurt. But you have a gift for writing so you can pour your heart and hurt out in a positive way about it. As for finding a husband to love - a) I never have - better never to be married than married to the wrong person! b) If God has got Mr Right for you, then he will bring him along! It's not up to you. It's up to Jesus!
    7. You believe in Jesus, so you are not going to hell because of your sins. Jesus has been through hell for your sins - and mine. Imagine he did an amazing swap when he died on the cross. He said: 'I lived Lizzie's life. I did all her sins. I will pay for them. In return, Lizzie, you can have my clean life.' Which he did, and you are CLEAN when God looks at you. If you do something wrong, just say sorry to him and he says 'It's gone. I paid for that
    one.'
    Jesus is amazing, Lizzie, and so are you!!Start believing that he thinks the world of you! AND I REALLY LIKE YOU AND SO DOES JENNY!!!! Finish that coffee and enjoy your day! xx

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  2. Oh Sheila, you really have helped me today!! Thank you so much for taking my fears away, should i delete that post incase it's too depressing for people to read? Oh thank you so much for taking the time to help me, Sheila it's you who is a blessing! And the coffee was lovely ;-) hope your day so far has gone great! Hugs n hugs! X x x

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  3. Hi Lizzie! Actually I wouldn't delete the post because you were being REAL. Lots of people feel exactly like that and can't put it into words. You can. God loves "real", Lizzie, he wants you to be honest with him and he loves you for it. It's like he says to you, 'My daughter, know that you can be "yourself" with me and I will never judge you for it. I accept you. Come to me in trust and see that I will never let you down.' Remember, all the 'judgement' is on Jesus, and you are free. Have a great day, hugs to you too. xx

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  4. Glad to see you didn't delete this post - thanks for being so real. Sheila :-] xx

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